Save Me
by Clear Eyed Dreamer
Summary: Kate Shepherd refuses to admit what her husband is doing to her. She refuses to admit how he’s changed since they were rescued. Then one fateful day, she bumps into her destiny… Skate 'How was it that Sawyer could draw life from her empty shell'
1. Chapter 1

Save Me…

Summary: Kate Shepherd refuses to admit what her husband is doing to her. She refuses to admit how he's changed since they were rescued. Then one fateful day, she bumps into her destiny…

A/N: This is my second Lost story. They were saved after the tail section joined the camp on the beach. So anyway, hope you like it. Reviews are loved.

Chapter 1

She wouldn't let the tears fall. Tears were signs of weakness. Empty shells don't cry anyway and that was what she was after all. There was nothing behind her glassy stare, there were no feelings, no emotions. She didn't even feel like herself anymore, she couldn't even run. Running was what she did, what always got her out of her messes, but this time was different, this time she couldn't.

It had been almost six months since she cried last, since she died inside. He didn't deserve to make her cry, just as she didn't deserve that arrogant smirk that crossed his face when he looked down on her from his pedestal.

She looked at her own eyes in the mirror and saw nothing. There wasn't even the shadow of the woman she used to be. She had been strong, confident, independent, but that all changed.

She ran her hands through her hair and tied it up away from her face so she could examine the damage. She reached to pick up her concealer and her hand faltered. "Damn it Kate, get it together." She muttered to herself. She brought the stick up to her face and rubbed it gently on her purpled cheek, wincing when she rubbed it in.

This she wasn't used to doing, he was usually smarter, kept away from her face. She had angered him something fierce this time though. But even that was only a reason, not an excuse.

She couldn't even tell anyone because that would mean that she would have to give up everything. Not just her, but so many other people as well. People she spent two months with on a deserted island. She really missed that island. Things were different on the island. Things were better.

A sigh escaped her lips, she was thinking back to those happy times. She was free there, she had made a name for herself that wasn't followed by the words 'a wanted fugitive'. She missed that, just being Kate Austin, but she would never have that again. Kate Austin no longer existed. She was Victoria Shepherd now, wife of miracle-working spinal surgeon Jack Shepherd.

Kate noticed her eyes narrow in the mirror as his name went through her head. It left a bitter taste in her mouth.

She glanced at the clock hanging on the bathroom wall, it was quarter to one in the afternoon and she had to be at Claire's apartment at one. She would never make it. She would have if she hadn't had to cover a bruise, but now she was destined to be late.

Claire and her son Aaron were the only two Kate saw from the island anymore. Claire was the only other one who lived in Los Angelus. She didn't have contact with any of the others, she wasn't sure she wanted to. The things they all went through together was too painful and most of it didn't need to be remembered. But as she sat in the Littletons living room she felt compelled to ask Claire about some of the others. They had made a solemn vow not to talk about it, but she felt a need to break it.

The room was comfy and cozy. Everything was white, the walls, the floor, even the plush sofa Kate sat on as she waited for Claire to come out of the kitchen with the offered coffee. She could never imagine having an all white apartment with a five year old son. She covered any stains well though, they were almost undetectable. The only reason Kate knew they existed was because she was a witness for a few of them. She smiled slightly at the memory of a little two year old Aaron getting mad because he didn't want to take a nap and throwing a jar of paint onto the sofa to spite his mother. Needless to say he never finger-painted again.

"What are you smiling about?" Claire walked in carrying two cups of coffee. "Not that it's a bad thing to see, it's just so rare now." She continued in her thick Australian accent.

"Just remembering things." This was as good a time as any Kate decided as Claire handed her a cup and sat down across from her on a rocking chair. "Talking about remembering things…" She hesitated.

"Yes?" Claire prompted. "What is it?"

Kate cleared her throat and tried again. "I've been thinking about, well, you know, the island lately."

"Oh, Kate, why?" Claire asked, voice a little disappointed. "The island doesn't matter. Yes, it served a purpose in all of our lives. It made me keep my Aaron, it made you and Jack find true love, cured Charlie's drug addiction and so much else. But it doesn't matter anymore."

Love? Kate thought, inwardly disgusted. The only problem was that she did love him and she felt the need to push through this rough time in their lives together. "I know Claire. It's not so much the island I want to talk about as the other survivors. Do you still talk to any of them?"

Claire sighed. "Yes, you know I do. Honestly Kate, they're all a little hurt that you want nothing to do with them, both you and Jack."

Kate closed her eyes for a second. She wished Claire hadn't said that, she wished the others hadn't cared.

"John Locke was by last week you know." Claire told her before taking a sip of her coffee.

"How is he?" Kate asked, Claire hadn't told her anything about the other survivors before now. This was at Kate's request.

"He's good. He's the same John that we knew, walking and all." Claire told her, smiling. She had a special place in her heart for John.

"So the island didn't take away his present when we left?" Kate asked.

"No, he stayed healed." Claire's smile disappeared as she thought of how to word something. "I'm sure Jack told you about Sayid." At the other woman's confused look she continued. "Sayid, he's…he's very sick, you know." She glanced away quickly.

Kate's eyebrows lifted in surprise. "Really? I didn't know. What's wrong with him and how would Jack know?"

Claire chose her words carefully. "He has cancer, there's a tumour on his spine." She chuckled nervously. "Seems to be a common theme with survivors on that island."

"Wow…" Was all Kate could muster.

"Yes, I thought Jack would have told you though. Sayid came here just to have Jack operate on him. It's scheduled for two days from now." Claire told her, looking everywhere but in Kate's eyes. The topic of sickness always made her uncomfortable.

"No, I hadn't…he didn't tell me anything." Kate got out in a voice barely louder then a whisper. They never talked anymore. He was barely ever home.

"Some of the others are coming here too. Jack told me, Sayid and John last week that-"

"Jack talked to you all?" Kate cut in, feeling some anger raise. "He didn't tell me, he didn't even ask me if I would like to see them. He didn't even tell me about Sayid."

"Well, to be fair, you didn't really want anything to do with them after the rescue." Claire told her quietly.

"That's not the point. He still should have told me in the very least." Kate crossed her arms over her chest and sat back in the sofa, trying to calm herself.

"Back to what I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted." Kate sent her an apologetic smile before Claire continued. "He told us that he didn't think it would do any good. He doesn't think he can get it all, that it's too far along. Sayid is going to die with a month, this is his last chance, even though this is probably what's going to kill him. He said it's better to have tried and failed, then never tried. He wants to be buried here, where his Nadia is buried. They others, they're all coming for the funeral that we're sure will follow the operation." Claire closed her eyes tightly, feeling tears well up.

Kate let her friend have a couple minutes to regain her composure before asking. "Who's coming?"

"Well, Charlie, John, Hurley and Libby, Ana Lucia," Claire paused to think if she had named everyone, "And oh yeah, Sawyer."


	2. Chapter 2

Save Me

A/N: Thanks for the reviews guys. Also, if you like this story, check out my other Lost one, Messages in the Night.

Chapter 2

She dropped her key.

Kate sighed and bent to pick it up off the front stoop of the house she shared with Jack. It was the perfect little house, two stories, white with green shutters and a white picket fence. The perfect disguise for what went on inside of it. That was less then perfect.

She stood back up and unlocked the door. She scurried inside and walked quickly into the living room where she could hear Jack's voice. He was calm. That scared her. He looked over his shoulder at her and smiled. That scared her even more.

"Okay, alright, I'll see you tomorrow for some final testing." He told whoever was on the other end of the phone before hanging up. "Hi, Kate." He said happily as he walked over to sit beside her on the sofa where she had plopped herself down.

"Jack." She replied, smiling. Oh, how she loved it when he was actually happy, it reminded of her of the good times they had shared on the island. But she knew this was only the eye of the storm, he always got his angriest after being happy.

"So, how was Claire? Aaron still being a little monster?" Jack asked, making small talk.

"Claire's great, Aaron's great, everyone's great." She said and paused for a moment. "Except from what I hear, Sayid is not so great." Another pause. "Why didn't you tell me Jack?"

He shook his head. "I really didn't think it would be in your best interest to know about it."

"Excuse me?" Kate replied, anger starting to rise. "Since when do you get to decide what's best for me?"

"You're the one who decided that she didn't want anything to do with the other survivors. I'm just protecting you from getting upset about someone you don't really care about." Jack told her, his happy state quickly fading.

Kate's mouth gaped open. "How could you say I don't care about Sayid?"

"If you cared, you wouldn't have isolated yourself, Kate." Jack replied. He turned his body on the sofa so he could look at her better. "Do you really want to start an argument about this?"

"Do you really want to protect me?" Kate asked as she got to her feet. Jack soon joined her. "Or are you trying to protect something else?"

"What else could I possibly be trying to protect?" Jack asked with a roll of his eyes.

Kate shrugged. "Well, I hear Sawyer's coming." She and Sawyer had a deep bond while on the island. Jack didn't like it. Everyone knew Jack didn't like it.

He grabbed her shoulder. "Well, you won't be seeing him. Or anyone else who shows up for that matter."

"I can see anyone I like to." Kate replied. "You don't own me, Jack Shepherd."

Jack kept one hand on her shoulder while he grabbed her left ring finger with his other. He held up the finger complete with a large, sparkling diamond ring on it. There was no engagement ring. "This says otherwise. This say's that you're mine, Kate." His voice was low, dangerous.

Kate let out a low hiss. "Let me go."

Jack held her eyes for a second before letting go of her. He pushed her back.

"I'm going out." Kate stated, grabbing her keys and walking briskly to the door.

"Where?" Jack asked.

"Just for a walk." She replied before leaving her perfect little white house with her perfect white picket fence.

Kate sat on the deck of a coffee house drinking hot black coffee. It was the only thing that calmed her, oddly enough. She sighed. She shouldn't have instigated an argument with Jack, much less bring up Sawyer's name. She knew better, she really did.

She missed him, Sawyer. She missed the teasing and the barriers that they each kept putting up, that the other kept knocking down. She missed the tender moments they had, but she missed the arguments just as much. A smile briefly lit her lips, she missed his dimples and the way they shone when he smiled.

"Kate?" The female voice wafted over her. It was calm and serene.

She turned to where it came from. "Hi, Libby." She smiled and looked around for Hurley, her betrothed.

"Oh, he's not here, he's with the other men right now." Libby told her, as if reading her mind. "Mind if I take a seat?" She asked, indicating the other three chairs at Kate's table.

"No, go ahead." Kate told her and she took a seat across from her. "So everyone's here already then?"

Libby nodded as she tested her coffee. "Yep, either for Sayid's miracle, or his funeral."

"You don't seem very shook up by it." Kate observed.

"Well, honestly, Kate," Libby told her, "my extent of knowing Sayid was when I told him I couldn't untie him from the tree Ana had tied him to. I'm really only here for Hurley."

Kate nodded. That was true, they got rescued the night after the tail section of the plane joined them. She wondered briefly how Michael and Walt were handling still being on the island.

"I didn't mean to offend you." Libby told her, noticing her silence.

"Oh sorry." Kate sent her an apologetic smile. "You didn't offend me, I just got lost in thought. So, where are the men?"

"They'll be here shortly." Libby told her. "They hung around the hospital with Sayid for an extra half hour or so while I walked down here."

"They're coming here?" Kate replied, feeling nervous all of a sudden.

"Actually, I believe that's Locke's van coming down the street now." Libby squinted into the sun trying to see. "They opted to go together and since Locke was the only one who lived in California they stole his vehicle for their own. Saves rental fee's." She explained.

Kate knew it was them, as they pulled into the parking lot she saw Locke driving and Ana-Lucia in the passenger seat. "Ana's with them?" She asked.

Libby nodded. "As I said, just the men."

The van started unloading it's passengers, Ana and Locke from the front, Charlie, Hurley and Sawyer from the back. He was the last to exit.

"Over here guys." Libby yelled to them to get their attention.

"We'll be right over." Ana replied. "Just let us grab some coffee." And with that, the 'men' entered the building.

"Wow, I haven't seen them in so long." Kate murmured, mostly to herself.

They hadn't changed much. Locke looked the same as he always had, Hurley had dropped some of his weight, Ana-Lucia was sporting a much shorter haircut while Charlie was sporting a much longer one, then there was Sawyer, he was clean-shaven and his hair was a little longer and tied back.

As they exited the building onto the deck, Kate got to her feet. "I really should be going, Jack's expecting me home." Before Libby could object she scooted away and tried to get past the guys without meeting their eyes. A hand shot out and grabbed her arm.

"Where ya goin', Freckles?" A rough southern drawl asked her.

Kate took a moment to mentally prepare herself before looking up at Sawyer. He was alone, the others had continued on to the table. "Home." Was all she said.

"Ah, of course. Got to get home and tend to the Doc like a good little wife." He ended on a bitter note which sent a chill up Kate's spine. He dropped her arm when she said nothing. "Well, get along then, before Jack-o sends out a search party. You wouldn't want him findin' out you were socializing with the likes of us."

Kate looked him straight in the eye. "I still am 'one of you'." She stated before turning on her heel and escaping the situation.

Jack wasn't going to like this, not one bit.


	3. Chapter 3

Save Me

A/n: Wow, I go away for Christmas, come back and there's way more reviews then when I left, thanks guys. And just as you requested, another chapter. Sorry about the shortness though, I'm just not feeling the creative bug today.

Chapter 3

Kate paced back and forth in the bedroom she shared with her husband. It was a comfy room with a big plush bed overthrown by pillows and an antique wooden vanity that took up almost an entire wall. There were no pictures on the walls.

Jack snored almost inaudibly as he slept. Kate wished she could sleep like him, but she was restless. The coming day would bring about Sayid's operation and the results from the same. She wanted to be there for him, regardless of how much she hadn't seen any of the survivors over the past few years, she still wanted to be there for him. She would want to be there for any of them, no matter what. The only problem was letting Jack know. He wouldn't like it, he barely put up with her friendship with Claire.

She raised her right index finger to her lips. She hated biting her nails, but it was the only bad habit she let herself indulge in. She was nervous and it calmed her slightly.

Kate glanced at the clock that sat on the vanity, it was almost half past four o'clock in the morning. Jack would be getting up soon. She let out a slight sigh and walked over to the bed where her husband was sleeping. A smile touched her lips as she laid her hand gently on his head. He seemed so calm and peaceful, it was wonderful.

She turned away and walked out of the room and down the stairs that led to the ground floor. Walking through the doorway to her right she entered the fully equipped kitchen. She had been made to learn to cook. She hated it but Jack insisted that his wife knew how to cook. She had to be one of those women that if he called a half hour before coming home to inform her that he was bringing associates, she would have a large stunning dinner on the table just as they walked in the door. He expected her to be the perfect doctors wife, the kind she knew that she could never be.

As she was putting on a pot of coffee downstairs, the alarm sounded in the master bedroom. Jack rolled over and looked at it. He cursed under his breath the damned idea to put the alarm clock all the way on the other side of the room. Kate had insisted on it, knowing that once he was up he wouldn't go back to bed. It would be so much easier to just turn around and hit the snooze button. He closed his eyes again, willing the high-pitched buzzing to end. Of course it didn't.

With a grumble Jack sat up and rubbed his eyes. He hated morning's. He swung his legs out of bed and walked over to the alarm, pressing the button just a little harder then need be. Looking back at the bed his eyebrow's furrowed. Where was Kate? He shook his head. That woman was never where she was supposed to be. She was a lifetime commitment, whenever he thought he had her perfect, she came up with something else that he needed to fix about her. It was getting tiresome.

After having a quick shower and getting dressed, Jack made his way downstairs, smelling the heavenly scent of fresh coffee. Walking into the kitchen he found his wife. She was sitting at the table with a cup of coffee sitting in front of her.

"Good morning." He greeted her as he poured himself a cup. "Why are you up so early?"

"I couldn't sleep." Kate replied with a small smile. "Have a seat, Jack, we need to talk."

He turned to her with a faint smile. He loved her serious face. He sat down across from her at the small wooden table. "And what do we need to talk about, Kate?"

"Sayid's operation." She told him, fighting back her nervousness.

Jack cocked an eyebrow. "What about it?"

"I want to be there with the others." She told him, glancing at the cup of coffee sitting on the table in front of her. She met his eyes again.

Jack thought for a second. "No." He told her simply and took a sip of his coffee.

"It wasn't a question." Kate replied. "I'm going."

"No, you're not." Jack stated, getting a dangerous glint in his eye. "This is not up for discussion."

Kate got to her feet and walked over to stand beside her seated husband. "It's not being discussed, _honey_, I'm going."

Jack took another sip of his coffee. "You disgust me." He told her quietly. "Much like this over-brewed garbage that you call coffee." With that he looked at her eyes. "You belong together." Before Kate could react he splashed the contents of the cup down the front of her thin white tank top.

Kate winced, it was hot and it hurt.

"I'll be at work." Jack told her. He got to his feet and pushed past her.

Kate listened for the door to close before she hurried to get the stained shirt off. She looked down at her reddened stomach. It wasn't too bad, it probably wouldn't even blister, but it still hurt.

And she was still going to the hospital.


	4. Chapter 4

Save Me

A/N: I hope this makes up for my short chapter last time. Hope you all enjoy.

Chapter 4

Sawyer actually had butterflies in his stomach, but he would never admit to it. Ever since Claire had told the group of them that Kate was going to be at the hospital with them that morning he had been restless. As much as he hated it, he had missed the woman. And that made a part of him hate himself.

He had let her get close to him and she used him. That was a funny thought, that he felt used, he was a con man for God's sake, he knew all about using people. So why hadn't he seen it coming with her? He actually had thought he was falling in love with her, he had actually thought there was something between them. But there wasn't, there wasn't even friendship there. If there had been, he would have at least heard from her in the last five years. But she just erased him from her life. It was too bad he couldn't do the same.

Sawyer had wanted to be the kind of man that could be there for her, the kind of man that wasn't at risk of being hauled off to jail every day. So maybe that island get-a-way with her did do something for him, it made him want to be a better man. And he was a better man now, but he'll be damned if he let her know about it.

She wouldn't care anyway. Kate was too wrapped up in being perfect for Jack, for the life she lived now. He wished he could tell her that she was perfect before she ever married Jack.

As he paced back and forth in the waiting room he couldn't help regretting what he had said to her just two days prior. He hadn't noticed how strained and withered she looked until he had already made an ass of himself and then it was too late to take it back. He wasn't even sure he would have if he had the chance.

The sound of the door swishing open caught his attention and he looked up to see Kate walk through. His stomach lurched. How, after five long years, could the sight of that woman still make him want everything with her? She wasn't the Kate he knew though, she looked so indrawn and weak. She looked thinner too, if that was even possible. She wore a white silk blouse over tight black jeans and sneakers, it seemed like she was trying to be what Jack wanted without losing too much of herself.

Before Kate walked into the room she had stood on the other side of the door looking through the window. They were all sitting there, waiting. Well, except Sawyer, he seemed to have some energy he needed to get rid of as he paced back and forth. His old familiar scowl was in place and she felt an old longing to tease and provoke him. Of course she knew she couldn't, Jack would have a fit. Out of all the survivors, she missed Sawyer the most, but she also knew that he was the one Jack hated the most. A friendship with Sawyer never would have worked, there would be too much tension between him and Jack. It was better this way. She would be nice and civil to him and then after he left, she would never see him again. She knew it was for the best, but why did that thought leave her feeling empty?

She walked through the door and smiled as best she could. Walking right past Sawyer she went to the others. She could feel his presence as he followed her over, as he walked up beside her. She refused to look at him, it would be too painful.

Sawyer couldn't believe it, Kate wouldn't even look at him. Did she really think she was that much better then him? That she could stick her nose in the air and amble past him like he was nothing? He barely suppressed a low growl.

"Well, Kate, it's definitely been a while." John Locke was the first to speak.

"I know." Kate looked down at her hands for a second before looking back at them. "I know you must all hate me."

Pity? The word flew through Sawyer's head. She expected pity after barring them all from her life?

"Of course we don't." Charlie replied. "We understand, we're sure you had reasons, Kate."

"Oh, don't call me Kate." Her eyes widened slightly. "Not in public anyway. When we came back Jack pulled some strings and got me a new identity."

"So, what should we call you?" Ana asked around the piece of gum she was noisily chewing.

"Victoria." Kate replied with a small blush. "Jack picked it."

"It's nice." Libby told her in her soothing tone of voice.

"Certainly suits you now." Sawyer grumbled and turned away. "I got to go for a walk." He walked towards the door Kate had come through.

Kate watched his retreating body before turning back to the others.

John looked at his watch. "Sayid's due to go in soon, if we want to see him once more, we better go now."

As the group got to their feet, Claire placed a hand on Kate's arm. "Do you want to come too?"

"I can't, Jack didn't want me here and he's bound to be coming and going from Sayid's room." Kate told her. "Tell him I'm sorry and I wish him luck, alright?"

Claire nodded and followed the others down a hallway.

Kate looked around. Everything looked so perfect, so white and sterile. It made her head spin to look at it. She sighed and walked out the door she had come in from and down the hallway to the entrance of the hospital. Walking through the doors she saw Sawyer leaning against a half wall of stone surrounding a flower garden, or tree compound, or something of the sort, Kate wasn't really sure. As she walked closer to him he looked up at her.

"What do you want, Freckles?" Sawyer asked gruffly. "I thought my walkin' away would get it through to y'all that I don't want company."

"I didn't come out here for you." Kate replied, leaning against the stone beside him. "The complete whiteness of that place always makes me dizzy. I never did like hospitals."

"That's a cryin' shame." He replied and looked at her, at how close she was to him, only inches apart. "You know, there's a whole more length of stone you could be leanin' on." He snidely told her.

Kate looked up at him with a dirty glare. "You've just gotten meaner over the years, haven't you?"

"Freckles, you know nothin' about me anymore." Sawyer stood straight and turned to her, face to face, keeping those inches between them. "You're the one who's changed. You think you're so good now, it makes me sick." His voice lowered dangerously. He kept her eyes for another second before turning to walk away.

Kate stood stunned before running to catch up to him. She grabbed his arm and whirled him around. "How dare you talk to me like that? I don't think I'm 'so good' now, I don't think I'm anything. Don't accuse me of being things when you don't even know me."

"And who's fault is that?" Sawyer replied. "It was your choice, Freckles, not mine."

"Why are you being so cruel to me?" Kate asked him, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Because it's the only way I can keep from grabbin' you and kissin' you." Sawyer replied, his voice more rough then usual.

Kate looked at him, his words stunned her truly.

Sawyer gently took his arm away from her and walked inside the building without a glance back.

Kate felt tears well up in her eyes and one small drop found it's way down her cheek. How was it that Sawyer could draw life from her empty shell?


	5. Chapter 5

Save Me

Chapter 5

Kate stayed outside for another few minutes, trying to compose herself and erase any trace of tears. Sawyer's brutal honesty had shocked and stunned her. She couldn't believe what she heard, that after all this time and everything she'd done, he still wanted to kiss her. A smile faintly touched her lips, he was still the same old Sawyer.

Taking a deep breath she walked through the doors again and down the corridor. She was relieved that everyone had returned to the waiting room, including Sawyer. Walking in she noticed the forlorn faces that met her.

"What is it?" She asked. "Did something happen? Did Sayid…" She couldn't even finish that sentence, she didn't want to think about it.

"No, no." Claire stood up and walked over to her friend. She smiled sadly. "We were just talking about things, about the island and how so much has changed now."

"Oh." Kate sighed, relieved. Claire led her to a row of uncomfortable plastic chairs and sat down with her. The others were either seated in that row as well, or in the row across from that. Sawyer just happened to be seated in the row across from them and right across from Kate. She glanced at him while he was looking elsewhere, turning away when he turned his blue eyes on her.

" I can't stand this waiting." Ana-Lucia piped up as she fidgeted in her seat beside Sawyer. "If it wasn't for the fact that I killed his damn girlfriend I wouldn't even be here."

"Nice to see guilt is the driving force." Kate replied feeling a little disgusted about the way she talked about taking an innocent life. Kate would never forgive herself for when she caused the death of her childhood friend and high school sweetheart. She could never imagine being so flippant about it.

"You're one to talk." Ana replied, giving Kate an icy stare. "You're only here because you feel guilty about shunning us all and now that one of us are dying, you want to make amends."

"You aren't 'one of us', Ana." Kate replied, voice sharp as a knife. "You didn't endure anything with us."

"No, what I endured was worse." She replied, leaning forward slightly, her instincts making her prep for attack. "While you all were holed up in your nice little cozy rubbish shacks, I was pulling dead children out of the water. While you were all running to your doctor about splinters, I was watching a man die from blood loss. So no, Kate, I didn't endure anything with you, but I sure would've preferred it."

"You think we didn't go through horrible things?" Kate asked. "We had to scavenge for everything that we had."

"Yeah, and even then, you still had enough of everything for no one to go without and still have one jerk hoarding a whole bunch." Ana shot back.

"Hey." Sawyer interjected. "I may be a lot of things, but I ain't no jerk."

"Now, everyone calm down." John stated. "I hardly think this is the time to be doing this."

"John's right." Claire agreed quietly. "There's so much more important things going on right now."

"Oh, shut up." Ana looked at the small blonde woman sitting across from her. She didn't really have anything against Claire, she was just in a really bad mood now. "You know why you're the only one that Kate here still talks to? Because you're weak. You never stand up for yourself, you just agree with everyone else and depend on everyone else for protection. You couldn't even get your baby things yourself when we were rescued. Everyone felt so bad for the mom that had to give birth trapped on a deserted island that you had monetary and material donations coming from your various orifices."

"That's not my fault." Claire replied. "You can't blame me for people giving me things."

"No, she can't." Kate agreed. "And lay off Claire, she's a sweetheart and has done nothing to you."

Ana made a snort of amusement. "I'll let you in on a little something. None of you could do anything to me, you can't touch me."

"You're fucking touched in the head." Kate muttered under her breath.

"What was that?" Ana asked. "You got something to say to me?"

"No." Kate shook her head. "I'm done with you, you're not worth it."

Ana glared at her for a second before getting to her feet. "Well, I'm done with this. I came, I saw, I paid my respects. I don't have to take this bullshit. I'm outta here." With that she spun on her heel and retreated.

Sawyer shrugged. "Sayid will be glad she's gone." As everyone focused their stares on him he smirked slightly. "Well, he will. He didn't like the bitch anymore then I did and I'm certainly glad she's gone." His eyes widened slightly as no one turned their eyes from him. "What? She held me in damn hole. And this was after I had been all heroically shot. I should've gotten a hero's welcome, instead I get beaten over the head with a damn Jesus-stick and introduced to a hole in the ground."

"Well," Charlie began in his thick British accent, "that's still better then being dragged through the jungle and hung up from your throat."

Sawyer snorted. "How do you figure? You're alive and alright ain't ya?"

Kate tuned out Sawyer and Charlie as they started to bicker back forth. She didn't like Ana, but she had never intended on arguing with the woman. It felt good though, she hadn't really argued with someone in so long, much less loudly voiced her opinion. She felt strong and capable, much like she used to. The only downside was the inevitable demise of this feeling as soon as she saw Jack. Ana had been wrong, she was the weak one, not Claire. Being friends with Claire brought her strength, something she could never hope to receive at home.

Kate glanced at Sawyer. He was leaned back in his chair and looked like he was at home. He always looked so relaxed and comfortable, even bickering as he was with Charlie. Sawyer was the exact opposite of her husband and the life she had chosen. She looked away again, there was no use pining for something that she couldn't have.

"Kate?" Claire's soft voice interrupted her thoughts. "Feel like going to get some coffee?"

An involuntary shudder worked it's way through Kate's body as the events of that morning sprang back to mind. She plastered a smile on her face as she looked beside her to where Claire was sitting. "No, thank you."

"You sure you don't want to come with?" Charlie asked as he got to his feet along with many of the others.

Kate just nodded. She looked down at her hands that were folded in her lap to avoid looking at them as they walked away.

"Alone again." Sawyer's voice broke through to Kate and her head shot up quickly. Everyone else had gone for coffee except for herself and Sawyer.

"You got to be kidding me." She muttered under her breath.

"What was that, Freckles?" Sawyer asked, a lazy grin spreading over his face.

She shook her head in reply. "Nothing. Why didn't you go with them?"

"I already got enough energy, I don't need caffeine surgin' through my body too." He replied simply. In all reality he just wanted to be alone with her again. He had caught her looking at him a couple times and it made his stomach jump. He knew he could never be with her and being alone with her was a slow brutal torture, but he still couldn't resist.

"Liar, you just wanted to be with me, didn't you?" Kate's voice got a teasing tone to it, she just couldn't help it. The way he was looking at her, the way he looked like a caged animal, it brought her back to the days of the island, it brought her back to when she would tease him on a daily basis.

Sawyer shrugged. "Ya got me sweet cheeks, I just couldn't bare to be apart from you. I'm just thrivin' on all those looks you keep givin' me, checkin' me out. " It warmed his heart to be able to put a little shine back in her eyes.

Kate's eyes went wide. "I was not checking you out."

"I should hope not." A fairly icy male voice broke in from the left of Kate.

Kate's eyes shot to where her husband stood after coming from another area of the hospital. She hadn't even noticed him approaching. "He was just kidding." Kate told him quietly.

"Yeah, lighten up, Doc." Sawyer interjected. "Just entertain' ourselves while we wait. And by the way, how is that patient you're supposed to be operatin' on right now?"

Jack shot an irritated look at Sawyer. "I'm on my way to the OR now, the operation has yet to start." He looked back at Kate. "What are you doing here? I thought I had told you to stay away."

"I told you I was coming." Kate replied.

Jack grabbed her arm and hauled her up from where she was sitting. "That doesn't matter, I told you to stay home."

Sawyer had no relaxed look on his face now. Someone who didn't know Kate never would have noticed the quick look of pain that flashed through her eyes when Jack had hauled her to her feet, but he did. It was taking everything he had to stay seated and mind his own business.

"I know, I'm sorry." Kate told him. "But I really wanted to be here."

"To flirt with Sawyer?" Jack's grip got a tad tighter.

"I wasn't flirting, we were talking, everyone else left to go get coffee." She explained.

"Well, you wouldn't have had this problem if you had stayed away, would you?" A mall vein popped out on Jack's neck as his grip got even tighter.

Before he knew what he was doing, Sawyer was on his feet. He placed his hand firmly on the wrist of Jack's that was holding Kate. "Let her go." He told the other man quietly.

"Mind your own business." Jack snarled at him.

"Sawyer please…" Kate tried to interject.

"You're hurtin' her, let her go." Sawyer told him again.

"Don't make me call security." Jack threatened. "I will get you removed from this building."

"I'm not goin' to ask you again." Sawyer ignored him as he started to apply pressure onto Jack's wrist.

Jack held his stare for a moment before letting go of Kate and grabbing his arm back from Sawyer. He glanced at Kate. "We will talk about this at home." He promised before walking away in the direction of the OR.

Sawyer turned his full attention to Kate. "You alright?"

She lifted shy eyes to him. "I'm fine." She told him quietly.

"Why didn't you tell him he was hurtin' you?" Sawyer searched in her eyes for any sign of the Kate that he has seen only minutes ago and found nothing.

"Please Sawyer, just stay out of it. It's none of your business." Kate stated.

Sawyer saw the rest of the group approaching and sat back down, not wanting to push an uncomfortable subject around other people.

Four hours later they all received the good news, Sayid's operation was a success.


	6. Chapter 6

Save Me

A/n: Alright, I finished another story so I'm back to working on this one. Sorry about the delay.

Chapter 6

Jack was due to arrive home any minute and Kate was dreading it. As she paced the spacious living room she had tastefully decorated in a combination of white, red and lavender she couldn't help but keep moving. She had already bitten her fingernails down to flesh so to do anymore would lead to blood and that was something that Kate couldn't stand the taste of. All she had was pacing.

Kate knew Jack was going to make her pay for earlier. What had she been thinking? How could she talk to Sawyer like that? She acted like the Kate she used to be, not the perfect doctor's wife she was now. She had made a mistake and she was going to be careful not to repeat it. Although as bad as everything she had done was, Sawyer had made it worse. Yes, it was true that Jack was squeezing her arm just a little too tightly but she could handle it. There was a reason that most of her wardrobe now consisted of shirts with long sleeves. If people couldn't see what Jack had done, no one would ask questions or intervene. That's what she wanted., but Sawyer had seen. He had seen the flash of pain in her eyes, he knew Jack was hurting her. No one else would have noticed, she was so good at hiding it by now, but she should have known that she couldn't hide something from Sawyer, he somehow always knew.

At the sound of a key in the lock she turned towards the entryway where he would come from and waited. She heard the door shut, heard the locks turned, heard him take off his shoes and heard his feet padding towards the entryway and then there he was. There was Jack Shepherd, miracle worker, in all his glory. He had taken off his suit jacket and tie so all that remained was a white blouse and black trousers. Kate forced a small smile in his direction but his face was stone.

"Why did you come, Kate?" He asked her, staying by the entryway. His voice was quiet and dangerous. "Why couldn't you just stay home like I asked? Why can't you ever do anything like I ask?"

"I'm sorry, Jack. My guilt made me go, I had to make sure Sayid was going to be alright." Kate explained. "If I could have done it any other way, I would have."

"To make sure Sayid was going to be alright?" Jack repeated. "Nice cover story, Kate. Maybe it would have worked if I hadn't seen the truth with my own two eyes."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Kate stated. "That is the truth. There is no more."

"God, do you even know the repercussions of your actions?" He asked her. "What if one of my fellow doctors had seen that? How do you think that would have made me look?" He continued before she could say anything. "I'll tell you how it would make me look, like I couldn't keep my own wife interested. That she has to go to some hillbilly to get her satisfaction. I will not have you damaging my reputation, Kate, especially not after everything I did for you. I put my own ass on the line to get you a new identity and this is how you re-pay me?"

"Jack, you know I'm very grateful for everything that you've done for me. If it wasn't for you I'd be in jail right now." She reasoned. "I know everything you've done for me and I didn't mean to disrespect you. I'm sorry." Kate lowered her head in shame. She should have known better then to talk to Sawyer the way she had. Why couldn't she have been polite and distant to him like she had planned on?

"Sorry doesn't cut it this time, Kate." Jack told her, that little vein on his temple starting to pop again. "You deliberately disobeyed me and went to that hospital. I told you no, I told you not to come. I'm trying to help you, but you just won't let me." He walked a few steps closer to Kate, who had to fight not to back up. "I could fix you and we could be happy, but you just won't have it."

"Why can't we go back to the way things were, Jack?" Kate asked, her voice quiet. She looked him in the eyes and saw nothing of the man he used to be. Her heart shattered.

"Because we're not animals anymore, we're civilians now and we are to behave like civilians, we are to behave like respectable people." Jack told her, finally closing the gap between them and grabbing her by the arms. "I should have known that you'd be no better in civilization then you were on that filthy island."

"I'll have you know 'that filthy island' was the best time of my life." Kate spat out.

"Of course it was, because you had your beloved Sawyer with you." Jack replied and pushed her down on the sofa. "You can't be happy just with me, can you?" He grabbed a handful of her hair and tugged so she was looking up at him. "Am I not good enough for you?" With his free hand he struck her across the cheek. "Is the filthy, dirty fugitive too good for the amazing, miracle working doctor?" He struck her again. "You make me sick." He told her with narrowed eyes as he let go of her. "I'm going out, you better be here and presentable when I get back."

Kate remained sitting and bowed her head, listening as his footsteps retreated and the door opened and closed again. Her cheek stung, but she knew from experience that it wouldn't be enough to bruise, that it would just be red for a couple hours. Taking a deep breath she lifted herself from the sofa and walked into the adjoining downstairs bathroom. She turned on the shower and stripped down to enter it, letting the scalding hot water cleanse her body. She breathed in the steam and felt her muscles relax as the water pelted her body. This was the life she choose for herself.

A half hour later she was sitting on the sofa again with television remote in hand, aimlessly flipping through the channels when the phone rang. She took a deep breath to steady her voice and answered with a cheerful "hello."

"Hi, Kate." Came the reply in a thick Australian accent.

"Claire." Kate smiled, happy that it was her one friend.

"I don't have long to talk, I'm going out with the guys tonight. Before you say anything, I know you won't come so I'm not asking." Claire told her with a small giggle. "But, Sawyer would like you to meet him tonight at my apartment while I'm out."

Kate thought for a second over the situation. Sawyer wanted to see her and actually made an effort to try to see her. She knew she couldn't possibly, but it was a nice thought all the same. "I can't."

"Are you sure? He says it's important." Claire continued. "He'll be there all night, so it's no hurry. He actually volunteered to watch Aaron for me so I could go out with them, mumbled something about not feeling up to drinking tonight. I could barely believe that it was our Sawyer talking."

Kate shook her head, even though her friend couldn't see it. "I'm sorry, Claire, but I really can't."

A buzzer sounded on Claire's end of the line and she told someone to answer it and let the person into the building. "Are you sure, sweety? I only have a second, Jack's here, so we're all ready to go."

Kate's mouth fell open in shook. "Jack's there? He's going with you?"

"Yeah, I would've thought he told you. We asked him to bring you, but he said you wouldn't come." Claire told her in a voice that was a little confused.

"You know what, Claire? Tell Sawyer I'll be there in about an hour." Kate told her friend. "But don't tell Jack."

"Alright." Claire replied. "I've got to be going now." With that, she hung up the phone.

Kate hung onto the receiver for another moment before setting it down. She couldn't believe what she had heard. Jack was going out with the other survivors tonight and had barred her from their activities. She couldn't imagine what the other survivors must think of her. She glanced at the clock, she had about forty minutes before she would have to leave.

Sawyer paced the Littleton's living room nervously. They had all left over a half hour prior and little Aaron was playing quietly in his room. He didn't know what he was going to say or do tonight. He didn't even really know why he was so insistent on Kate coming to see him. Nothing would be accomplished by it other than making the crack in his heart a little longer. He kept telling himself that Kate wasn't his and never would be, but his heart just wouldn't listen. He tried when they got off the island to be with her, but she was more interested in the doctor, the one who could provide her a life of luxury.

He snarled slightly. Jack. Jack was good for nothing and he had a sneaking suspicion that it was Jack's fault that the woman he saw earlier that day was not his Kate. He couldn't imagine ever putting his hands on her the way Jack had. He couldn't imagine ignoring the look of pain that crossed her eyes. But then again, if Sawyer was right, he figured Jack had about five years practise in ignoring that look.

The sound of the apartment buzzer broke through his violent thoughts about Jack and he walked over and hit the talk button. "Yeah?"

"It's Kate."

Sawyer didn't bother replying and hit the button that would allow her access to the inside of the building.

As Kate walked up the stairs she couldn't help the tingling feeling in the pit of her stomach. She had no idea what she was doing here other then as a personal revenge against her husband. Of course, she would never let Jack know that she had come to see Sawyer. She had no idea what his intentions were, but she had a feeling it was going to center around what he saw in the hospital that day. She sighed as she reached Claire's floor and walked over to her apartment door.

Sawyer heard the knock and walked over to the door. He paused for a moment to collect himself before opening it. Kate stood on the other side with sad eyes as she looked up into his. Sawyer stared at her for a moment. "I missed you." He murmured quietly before placing a hand on the back of her head and dragging her lips to his.


	7. Chapter 7

Save Me

A/n: Hey guys, thanks for all the great reviews and please, keep them up. I love reading reviews and I hope you enjoy the new chapter. Now, I'm off to take a college midterm, although I'd much rather be here writing for you guys. Expect another chapter within the week.

Chapter 7

Kate closed her eyes and enjoyed the feeling of Sawyers lips on hers. It had been far too long since she'd been kissed like that and it just felt so perfect. His hand on her hair and his lips on hers were the only parts of their bodies touching, but she felt such an electric charge from it all the same. Far too soon for her liking, Sawyer pulled away from her and dropped his hand back to his side. She opened her eyes to see him watching her. She knew he was gauging her for a reaction and she gave it to him in the form of a small smile.

Without a word, Sawyer took Kate's hand gently and pulled her into Clair's apartment. He let go to shut and lock the door. When he turned back around, Kate had made her way into the living room and was looking out the large window that overlooked the bustling city below.

Sawyer hadn't meant to kiss her but her eyes looked just too sad. He felt like they were begging him to do something to help her, something to take away that sadness. So he kissed her, it wasn't planned, it wasn't meant to happen, but it felt right. When she had opened her eyes again, confusion had taken the place of sadness. Sawyer knew that Kate had no idea why she had come tonight and that parts of her were warring inside. He vowed not to add to her confusion anymore that night. He walked over to the living room and sat down on the rocking chair that was across from the sofa and waited for her to join him.

Kate turned away from the window and saw Sawyer watching her. "Where's Aaron?" She asked, realising for the first time that her honorary nephew was no where to be seen.

"He's fine, playin' in his room." Sawyer told her. "That kid don't talk much, does he?" Ever since Sawyer had arrived that afternoon at Claire's, he had barely heard the boy utter two words.

"Just be glad you weren't around when he went through the terrible twos, he was a little monster." Kate told him, moving over to the sofa and sitting down. "I don't know how Claire managed to deal with it alone. I mean, Jack and I helped as much as we could, but Jack didn't have a lot of patience with him." She frowned as her hand moved to hover over her stomach without her meaning for it to. She quickly realised where it was and placed it across her lap.

"Doc doesn't want kids?" Sawyer asked.

"Maybe some day, but not now. He's too worried about focusing on his career." Kate stated. She used to be able to imagine little mixed versions of her and Jack running around, but that vision had long since evaporated.

Sawyer's eyebrow cocked up slightly at the end. "Are you sure that's a good idea, Freckles? If he couldn't handle Aaron, what makes you think he could handle his own?"

"I just don't think about it anymore." Kate shook her head. "It's easier that way."

Sawyer sighed. "As much as I'm enjoyin' this small talk, that's not why I asked you over here."

"I didn't think so." Kate agreed and shrugged. "You're wondering about what you saw at the hospital today, aren't you?" At Sawyers nod, she continued. "It was nothing, Jack was just nervous about the operation and he didn't realise what he'd done. You know he gets uptight like that. He apologized when we got home." Kate lied, hoping that Sawyer couldn't tell.

"Why is one of your cheeks red?" Sawyer asked. He had noticed the dull red of her right cheek when he had first opened the door but he decided not to mention it until now.

"Half a blush?" Kate told him and chuckled slightly.

Sawyer couldn't help the small smile that appeared on his lips. "You lost your ability to lie."

Kate's expression went blank. "If I lost the ability to lie, then what is this life I'm leading?"

"I don't know." Sawyer replied with a shrug. "You tell me."

"You and I both know that I'm not the 'perfect Doctor's wife' type or that I ever could be." Kate stated. "Everything about me is a lie now, even my name. But, that's the way it has to be."

Sawyer leaned forward, leaning his elbows on his jean clad knees. "It doesn't though."

"There was once a time where I would've reached for that possibility and held on, but Sawyer, no matter what he's done, I love Jack and he protects me. He has ever since we got off that island and before even." Kate told him and shook her head sadly.

"This is what you call protectin'?" Sawyer asked her, leaning back again. "He ain't protectin' you, Freckles, he's manipulatin' you."

"He's making me a better person." Kate replied back, her voice strong.

"He's making you into someone you ain't." Sawyer said, getting to his feet. "He's trying to fix something that ain't broken. You're not his wife, Kate, you're his damn hobby!"

"That is not true!" Kate replied loudly. She glanced at Aaron's room, remembering the little boy playing in there before continuing on in a quieter voice. "He's helping me be what I never was."

Taking the cue from Kate, Sawyer lowered his voice as well. "And what was so wrong with what you were before?"

Kate lowered her eyes and sighed. Everything she had said to Sawyer had been true. She did love Jack and she knew that he was only trying to help her. But at the same time, Jack frustrated her to no end. He gave her no freedom and she thrived on freedom, she always had. She wished everything could be simple, but it wasn't. She was bound to Jack for multiple reasons and she couldn't put the others through what would happen if she left Jack. She stood and walked over to Sawyer. "I know you don't think there was anything wrong with me before, but that's because we come from the same world. Jack's world is different and I have to be different to fit into it."

"If you have to be different to be in it, maybe you shouldn't be in it at all." Sawyer told, seeing the sadness in her eyes again.

"It's not that simple." Kate told him, sparing him a small smile. "I'm going to go back home now, but can I have one last hug before I leave?"

Sawyer nodded and stepped up to her, wrapping his arms around her waist. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling of her little body pressed against his, of the arms that snaked around his neck, and the head that was laid on his shoulder. He heard a small sigh come from her lips and he couldn't help but tighten his arms around her body. He wished he could be the one to protect her, from the world and from Jack but he knew it wasn't his place. He wanted more than anything to go to Jack and beat on him but he knew he couldn't, he knew that Kate would be the one to pay the price for his temper.

Kate pulled away from him and walked towards the door. She knew he was right behind her as she opened the door and walked out into the hallway. She paused and turned to him. "Sawyer, this is it. I can't…I never want to see you again, ever." She told him quickly, before lowering her eyes and hurrying off, leaving a stunned Sawyer standing in the doorway.

Kate flew out of the building and to her car. She knew there were tears streaming from her eyes but she didn't bother to wipe them away as she started the engine and pulled out of the parking lot. She did what she had to do but why did it hurt her so much? She loved Jack, but saying goodbye to Sawyer for the last time made her heart shatter. More tears welled up in her eyes as she remembered the hurt that appeared on his face when she told him she never wanted to see him again. She didn't want to hurt him, but she knew she couldn't see him again, it was too painful for both her and him. The tears flowed freely as she drove towards an intersection, not once noticing the light above it turn red. Before she knew what was happening, her body felt like it was compacting then there was nothing.

When she woke up, she was laying in a hospital bed alone. She couldn't focus her eyes and her body felt completely numb. The events of the night started to slowly float back to her and she realised what must have happened. She was hit in the intersection driving home. She was scared, she wanted someone there with her so she didn't have to go through this alone. She hated just being a visitor in a hospital, being a patient was worse.

A plump nurse walked in and smiled at her. Her eyes were large and kind and put Kate just a little more at ease. "Nice to see you're awake, Mrs. Shepherd." She walked over and started writing numbers on a chart. "I'll let the doctor know and he'll be in to see you soon." She turned her eyes to Kate. "We've been trying to get a hold of doctor Shepherd for the last hour but he has his cell phone turned off. Is there anyone else we can call for you, honey?"

An image of Sawyer flashed in her mind, but Kate battled it back. She knew he would come, but she couldn't get dependant on him. "No." She managed to say in a quiet voice.

The nurse frowned. "Alright. If you need anything, or someone just to talk to, give me a buzz, I know how hard these stays can be, especially if you're alone." She waited for a slight nod from Kate before leaving the room.

Two hours later Sawyer stood by the window in Clair's living room, watching the city lights. He wanted nothing more than to have quite a few drinks to ease the pain he felt over Kate's words. He knew in his heart that she was right, that they couldn't ever see each other again. It hurt too much to be with her when he couldn't have her. He also knew that Jack would make Kate suffer if Jack knew that Kate had so much as glanced at him. He had to let go of her, he had to let go of the life he envisioned having with her, even if it meant killing a little part of himself. Kate had been his guiding light, the woman who made him want to be a better man, and for that, he'd always be thankful.

Kate was sitting up in her hospital bed trying to concentrate on the words in the magazine in front of her. The other driver had seen her and had tried to stop in time, so the damage to her body wasn't as bad as it could've been. Her forearm was fractured, she had a large, nasty bruise on her torso, as well as some cuts, and a bump and a cut on the side of her head. Every injury was on her left side.

The hospital had finally got in contact with Jack through the home phone line and he was on his way down to see her. That didn't make Kate happy in the least. She didn't want to see Jack. He would want to know why she had been out driving instead of at home like he had told her to be. She couldn't tell him the truth of course, that would just make him angry. Part of her wished that she had never gone to see Sawyer that night, she wouldn't be so confused right now or sitting in a hospital bed. She laid her head back and sighed. The night had gone so wrong.


	8. Chapter 8

Save Me

A/N: Thank you to all my great reviewers, I always love reading your reviews. I can't guarantee a chapter next weekend, I'm trying really hard to earn currency on a game I play, Gaiaonline, before July 19th, my birthday, so I can get an item. So if there isn't one out in a week, there will be the weekend after. Oh, by the way, who can guess what Sawyer's job is from the hints in this chapter?

Chapter 8

Sawyer blamed himself. If he hadn't asked Kate over that night, if he hadn't kissed her, if he hadn't made her upset…all those thoughts kept running through his mind and all he kept thinking was that it was all his fault.

Claire had received a call from Jack no more than a half hour after she had gotten home telling her that Kate had been in a car accident. The phone call lasted barely a minute, but Claire broke down so fast that it looked like she had been crying for hours. Locke and Charley had run to comfort the poor woman as she told them about Kate. Jack had requested no visitors.

---

A month after that night, Sawyer sat in his own apartment, in his own living room and wondered about the woman he could never forget. He knew that Jack would blame her for the accident and to find some way to twist it into an inconvenience for himself. Sawyer know that the accident wouldn't be the only of Kate's injuries from that night.

All the survivors had left the day after and parted ways at the airport, each going to their own destinations. Every night since, Sawyer had fought the urge to go to a bar, get drunk and pick a fight. He knew that wouldn't help him any and would probably cost him his job. His job was about appearances, and you can't sell something based on appearance if you're full of cuts and bruises. That just doesn't present an honest image to the buyer.

Parts of him hated what he had become. He paid bills and taxes, kept himself and his apartment neat, held a steady job and even made a nice sum of money every now and again. The other part of himself told him that what he was doing was just a legal way to con people and oddly enough, that thought always made him feel better. His attitude hadn't changed any, he still degraded people, he still drank (but a lot less) and he was always the first to role his eyes and scoff during company meetings. They kept him on though because he was good at what he did, Sawyer could sell anything to anyone and not feel bad if it was out of their price range. His co-workers thought all he cared about was the money, they were wrong. Money was of little value to him when he couldn't shower it upon the woman he loved.

---

Kate sat in the living room of her 'perfect' house. The bruises had all disappeared and the cuts had all healed, all that was left was the thin white cast on her left forearm. She sat on a plush chair with her legs pulled up in front of her. The image she portrayed was one of weakness and frailty.

That night in the hospital, when Jack had finally shown up, was horrible. He was drunk and angry with her. She had tried to explain that she had just gone out to grab a quick bite to eat but he wouldn't hear it. He had told her to stay home, and to him, if that meant that she would starve, then starve she would. He didn't once touch her, but in a lowered voice with his mouth positioned right beside her ear, he told her that she was in a heap of trouble when the hospital released her.

When she went home a day later she had found him laid out on the sofa with several empty beer bottles surrounding him. She had been scared out of her mind, especially when his eyes opened and focused on her. They were red and bloodshot. She hadn't moved, she just stood there as he got to his feet and came closer to her. She had stayed silent, with not even a whimper as he took out his frustrations on her. She knew it was better that she just let him do whatever he wanted, that way there wouldn't be a struggle and she wouldn't get as hurt. She had stayed compliant as the man she loved added to her cuts and bruises.

Now she felt more like an empty shell then ever before. The kindness and love Sawyer had shown her only a month before now seemed so far in the past that she could hardly recall it. Claire was the only one in the last month who had shown her any kindness whatsoever, but Kate was trying to avoid the blonde woman, she was trying to avoid everything. After the accident, she had found it hard to smile, laugh or just even pretend to be happy. She questioned everything about herself now, her thoughts, feelings and emotions. Her mind ran rampant with doubts and questions while she let her body deteriorate. Eating was no longer high on her list of things to do. She'd eat a couple slices of toast, or a banana, or something small like that throughout the day, just to keep herself going.

To Kate, her life held no meaning anymore. She had started questioning everything about her relationship with Jack and her mind brought forth what Sawyer had told her, that she was no more than a hobby to him. She didn't think that it could possibly be true at the time, but the more she thought over it, the more it seemed real. The truth of that statement was the only thing that seemed real to her anymore. She felt trapped and imprisoned in the life she now led but she knew there was no way out. To run would make Jack bring up the truth. It might bring him down, but it would bring the rest of the survivors down with him. They knew who she really was, they knew she was in custody when the plane crashed. They'd all be charged with being accessories for not turning her in when they were rescued and for swearing that Kate Austin had been one of the passengers who died in the crash. She had faked a bump on the head and amnesia when they were rescued, giving Jack enough time to place a few phone calls and get her a new identity.

That was why she couldn't leave him. She would rather stay in a miserable marriage then leave and get all those people she had once called friends in trouble with the law. It was her sacrifice for them because she screwed up and they protected her.

A ringing doorbell brought Kate from her thoughts and she slowly got to her feet, ignoring the dizzy spell that came over her. She noticed Claire's car through the front window and sighed. There was just no avoiding this woman. She opened the door for her without a word as Claire marched into the house.

"Kate Austin, er, Shepherd, or whatever you want to be called, you listen to me right now!" Claire told her, wiggling her finger in Kate's face like she was a child. "I haven't seen hide nor hair of you in over a week! Do you like making me worry? Is that a fun game for you? And I don't want any excuses from you, either. Now, you march your butt right into that living room and sit down, you look horrible and you obviously need your rest."

Kate rolled her eyes and turned back to the living room. "I would be resting if someone hadn't rung the doorbell."

"I don't want any backtalk from you." Claire replied, following her into the living room and plopping down into the same chair Kate had been sitting in before as Kate sat gingerly on the sofa. "Now that that's over with, what is wrong with you? You look horrible."

"Thanks." Kate replied. "Car accident, remember?"

"A car accident doesn't make you lose weight." Claire stated, noting how her face seemed a little thinner. "You haven't been eating, have you?"

Kate nodded. "Yeah, I have. I had a banana for breakfast this morning."

"Oh, Kate." Claire groaned. "If you need help with anything just ask. What does Jack have to say about your eating habits?"

"Not much." Kate told her. "I've barely seen Jack, he's working so much. By the way, where's Aaron?" She tried to change the subject.

"He's with his uncle Locke." Claire shook her head and sighed. "I was hoping the manly influence would rub off on him. Actually, which reminds me," Claire paused for a moment, "call Sawyer."

Kate's eyes went wide. "What?"

"The man is annoying me several times a week wanting to know how you are." Claire told her. "And he was not very happy when I told him last night that I haven't talked to you in over a week. Some very unpleasant words came out of his mouth."

Kate smiled slightly. "I can just imagine."

"So, you'll call him?" Claire asked, hopefully.

Kate shook her head. "I can't."

"Kate, you either call that man or I tell him you moved to a remote area with no telephone access so I can no longer communicate with you." Claire groaned out loud. "Wait, scratch that, then he'll demand that I go there, check on you, come back and call him. He's incorrigible, Kate, he's completely infatuated with you."

"I know, which is exactly why I can't have anything to do with him." Kate told her, her voice quiet.

Claire frowned and moved over to sit beside her friend on the sofa. "Kate, answer me honestly, are you happy with Jack? It's alright, you know I wouldn't tell anyone." She told her, voice soothing.

Kate sighed and shook her head, admitting for the first time to someone other than herself that she wasn't happy in her marriage.

"Honey, you can't stay in a marriage that makes you unhappy. It's not healthy for you." Claire placed her hand over Kate's. "I know Jack can be a pain in the butt sometimes, but I'm sure if you talked to him about it and told him how you feel, he'd give you a divorce."

"It's not that easy, Claire. It's very complicated." Kate told her.

"You know you're always welcome at my place. If you need time away from him or if you finally decide to leave him, I'll help you out." Claire told her best friend. "Just think about it."


	9. Chapter 9

Save Me

A/N : See, told you I wouldn't have anything updated last weekend. This past week was just too hectic with trying to see different feuding family members around my birthday and trying to get a car, which we couldn't for the record. Anyway, enjoy the new chapter and I promise I'll have another for you within the week.

Chapter 9

Sawyer looked at himself in the mirror. There he was, the same person he had always been but yet, he was someone different. He knew Kate was the reason that he had turned his life around. After she had picked the Doctor over him he thought that he could somehow win her back if he got his act together. Now he knew that it would never happen. Kate would never leave Jack for him. He could hurt her and degrade her and she wouldn't leave his sorry ass.

Sawyer wished he could hate her for both what she did to him and for what she allowed to happen to her. But he couldn't, he just couldn't. Kate had been the only woman he had ever felt so deeply for. He had loved Cassandra, but his feelings for her were mostly superficial. Kate was different, he felt a connection to her, a bond and a unity.

Maybe that was why he called Claire on a regular basis now. He always made the excuse of wanting to see how her and Aaron were doing, but he suspected that the blonde woman knew he was only calling to see how Kate was. He knew he should just let go of her and try to forget her, but every time he closed his eyes, all he saw was hers. She always haunted him and he knew that she always would.

He watched in the row of mirrors as a door opened in the opposite wall. A tall, suave brunette male walked in and up to stand beside Sawyer in the employee washroom. The man took out a comb and swept it through his already perfect hair.

"Working late tonight again, James?" The man asked, his voice held a superior tone.

"Nah, I'll be leavin' with the rest of you tonight," Sawyer told him, turning to lean his hip against the counter underneath the mirrors.

"Got a date?" the other man asked him, turning to face him.

Sawyer shook his head.

"You spend too much time alone, James, and you work too hard. You should come out to the clubs with us tonight. Drown your stress and forget about properties and loans and equity. I promise it'll be worth it," he told him with a wink, "there's bound to be some hot ass there tonight."

Sawyer rolled his eyes and started to walk away, only to have the man follow him out of the room. Sawyer ignored him as he entered his small office and sat down behind his desk, gritting his teeth as the other man sat in the chair across from him. "Seth, I'm busy," he growled.

The other man, Seth, only shook his head and sighed, "what's up with you lately, James? Lately you've been dull."

"I have a lot on my mind," Sawyer mumbled as he started looking over lists of properties that he was handling.

"Work related, or woman related?" Seth asked him with a grin, showing two rows of perfectly straight, white teeth.

"That's none of your damn business," Sawyer told him, making sure his voice was lowered so that their bosses wouldn't overhear. He got suspended once when he had first started for swearing too loudly. That was apparently something that was frowned upon.

"So a woman it is," Seth sat back in the chair and thought for a second, "now who could it be that our little James is having issues with? I mean, you haven't had a date in over a month. Could it be Alicia from front desk? I saw you flirt with her a while ago and you know you can't date co-workers."

"Alicia's a friend. She's the one who suggested that I get my real estate license, remember?" Sawyer told him.

Alicia was the secretary and front desk clerk for the real estate firm that Sawyer worked for. She was this peppy, cheerful little thing that could always make him laugh. She stood barely over five feet tall and couldn't weigh more then hundred pounds, but Sawyer was certain that she could take care of herself. She had shoulder-length straight brown hair and huge green eyes. They had been friends for over four years and had never been anything more. She was the only one he had told about Kate.

Seth got to his feet, "well, you enjoy your night in then. I'll be sure to get an extra chick for you," with another wink, he left the small office.

Sawyer just shook his head. Seth was a chauvinistic man who saw women as nothing more then objects. The problem was that he could be charming when he wanted to be. Sawyer stood from his chair, stretched and grabbed his jacket. He slipped it on before walking out of his office, making sure to lock the door behind him. He walked down a hallway and around a corner to where the front entrance of the building was. He grinned when he saw Alicia talking on the phone. He walked around to the front of the counter and leaned his elbows on it, waiting for her to finish her call. When she did she reached up and smacked his arm.

"What was that for?" Sawyer asked, rubbing his arm.

"You never called Candy back, you man whore," she told him with a huge grin. "she called here looking for you twice."

"That was more then a month ago," Sawyer groaned. He hadn't seen any other women since he'd gotten back from Los Angeles.

"Yeah, well, apparently she just remembered you. She wasn't much in the brains department," Alicia made a face before letting her lips fall back into the usual grin.

"And now, why didn't I get those phone calls, little miss?" Sawyer asked her.

"Because I didn't feel like transferring her over to you," she replied with a giggle, "I think it would have confused her anyway, she asked for a 'Sawyer' and as far as I know there's no 'Sawyer' who works here."

"You just want me all to yourself, don't ya?" He asked her as he watched her log out of her computer.

"You got me, big boy, I just can't help but try to keep all other bimbo's from talking to or touching you," Alicia replied, batting her eyelashes, "you'll see, one day you shall be mine."

"I'll be yours tonight, sweetheart," Seth broke in as he came up to the desk.

Alicia rolled her eyes, "if you were mine, I'd pay someone to take you off my hands."

"No price high enough," Sawyer stated before addressing Alicia again, "need a drive home?"

"Yes, please," she answered as she grabbed her jacket and purse and bounced around the desk to join Sawyer and Seth as the trio walked towards the front door. She laced her arm through Sawyer's and let him lead her away from Seth and towards his car.

They slipped into the car and Sawyer started the engine. He was on the highway before either of them spoke. "How's Chris?" Sawyer asked of her soon to be ex-husband.

Alicia groaned, "I hate him, my God I hate him. He's doing everything he can to keep me from getting custody of Reese. So what if he has a better paying job and has a clean criminal record, and so what if I cheated on him? I want my baby!"

Sawyer shook his head. Alicia had made a few criminal mistakes when she was younger and had cheated on her husband once, and apparently, that made her a bad mother. The man was a slimy, sneaky snake-in-the-grass lawyer and Sawyer would give anything to be able to throw a punch at him. "They're gonna give you something though, right?"

"Every second weekend is what they're leaning towards," she pouted, "I miss him so much, the only time I ever left him in ten years was to go to work." She shook her head to clear it, "but I can't talk about that right now or I might have you go smash this bucket of bolts into his."

Sawyer chuckled, "and you know damn well, girl, that I'd do it for you."

"So, you told me you were calling Claire last night. How did that go?" Alicia asked, turning to look at his profile as he stared straight ahead.

"She saw Kate yesterday. She looks so sad and sick I guess. It really tears me that she won't leave that fucker," Sawyer told her, voice getting an edge to it. He took an exit which led to the street his and Alicia's apartment building was on. He had met her the day she moved into the apartment next to his.

---

Kate lifted up the receiver of the telephone in her bedroom. She had just watched Jack's car leave the drive way from the second story window. She knew he wouldn't be back until late that night. He had gotten home not even an hour earlier. He got reprimanded at the hospital that day for something he deemed "stupid and unnecessary" and had decided to take his anger out on his wife. She didn't even know he was home, she was just sitting in the living room when she felt something hard smack against the back of her head. He had threw the first thing he could find at her, a cheap vase, which shattered on impact. He had never threw anything at her before and it scared her to think that his actions towards her were worsening.

So now she was standing, one hand holding a towel to the back of her bleeding head, the other holding the receiver of the phone. She took a deep breath and slipped the receiver between her ear and shoulder and dialled a number she knew off by heart. She waited for five rings before the answering machine picked up and she heard Claire's sweet voice inform her that she wasn't home at that moment.

Kate put down the receiver and opened the drawer of her bedside table. She sat on the bed and searched through it as best should could with only one hand until she pulled out a small piece of paper with an elegantly written phone number on it. Claire had given it to her the night before and told her that the person on the other end of it would always be there for her.

Kate again placed the receiver between her shoulder and ear and dialled the out of state number on the paper. She wasn't at all surprised when the person on the end of the line had a southern drawl. "Sawyer," she murmured quietly, "I need help."


	10. Chapter 10

Save Me

A/n : This was the hardest chapter I've ever had to write in my life. I wrote little bits here and there throughout the last two weeks. I don't even know why it was so hard. Anyway, hope you enjoy.

Chapter 10

Kate again placed the receiver between her shoulder and ear and dialled the out of state number on the paper. She wasn't at all surprised when the person on the end of the line had a southern drawl. "Sawyer," she murmured quietly, "I need help."

There was a pause which worried Kate. Would Sawyer reject her now in her greatest time of need just like she had rejected him? Would he tell her that he couldn't help her? Would he laugh at her? Kate found herself biting her lip in anticipation of what he would say.

"Where are you?" he finally asked after the period of silence.

Kate let out the breath she hadn't realised she was holding, "I'm home, Jack just left."

"What kind of help do you need?" he asked, not letting himself truly hope that she wanted out of her marriage.

"I want to get away from him, but I don't know how, it's all so complicated," Kate practically sobbed out.

"Spend the night at Claire's, take anythin' that means anythin' to you. I'll try to get a red eye flight in tonight," he told her, "from there, I have no idea what to do but I'll think of somethin'."

Kate actually managed to smile, "thank you," she murmured before putting down the phone.

Kate pulled her hand and the towel away from her head. It had finally stopped bleeding, but she had a terrible headache. She toyed with the idea of taking a painkiller but she ultimately thought better of it. She wanted to get away from this house as soon as possible. With a deep breath she stood from the bed and walked to the closet where she grabbed a duffel bag. She grabbed a couple things from the closet and shoved them in a bag, then repeated the action at her dresser and in the bathroom. Finally she went back into her bedroom and found her jewellery box. With a frown she looked through the items in it, all of them were from Jack. She had never been big on jewellery but he had insisted. She picked up the box and dumped it in her duffel bag, knowing that she'd be able to pawn the gold and silver pieces for money if she needed to. With a final look around, she left the room and walked right down the stairs and out the door, never once looking back.

---

When Sawyer hung up the phone in his apartment he sat back on the chair he'd been sitting in and took a deep breath.

"Who was that?" Alicia asked as she walked out of the small kitchen that was off the main living area.

He looked at her and gave her a mischievous grin, "feel like goin' to L.A. with me, sweetheart?"

Alicia shrugged, "why? You were just there." She plopped herself down the sofa in his living room and put her feet up on his coffee table.

"I'll pay," he offered which made her eyes light up.

"I'm in then, cupcake," she told him with a nod of her head, "why are we going?"

"That call happened to be none other then miss Kate Austin," he told her with the same grin as before, "she's finally ready to leave that asshole doctor."

Alicia nodded slowly, "and you're going to go rush in and save her?"

"You know it," Sawyer replied with a wink. He leaned forward again and grabbed the phone book from the table his phone was set on. "Now, to just see if there's any flights out tonight."

---

Kate drove up into the parking lot of Claire's apartment building. She grabbed her one bag and got out of the car. She looked around to see if anyone was watching but there was no one around. She was starting to become a little paranoid. She walked up to the building and stepped inside. She hoped that Claire had returned home in the time it took her to talk to Sawyer, pack her stuff and drive here. She pressed the button for Claire's apartment and waited. She counted the seconds as she waited for a reply. Finally she heard the thick Australian accent come over the intercom asking who was there. "It's Kate," she said and waited again, knowing Claire was a tad confused about why her friend was there.

"Come on up," Claire told her and the door buzzed, signalling that Kate could enter.

When Kate reached the floor that her friend lived on, she noticed the blonde woman standing in the doorway.

"What's going on?" Claire asked as she took note of the duffel bag. She moved away from the door and let Kate enter. She closed and locked the door behind her. When she turned around to see Kate walking into the living room, she gasped and ran to her friends side, "my God, Kate, your head."

Kate smiled sadly, "I didn't have time to clean it off. Do you mind if I go use your shower?"

"Not at all, but your definitely telling me what is going on as soon as you get out of there!" Claire told her.

Kate nodded and walked off to the bathroom.

---

A half hour later Kate and Claire sat on the sofa in Claire's living room. Aaron had already gone to sleep, so the two women were alone. Kate was telling Claire of everything that had broken their marriage apart, from the controlling to the manipulating to the violence.

"Kate, why didn't you leave him?" Claire asked quietly.

She shrugged, "because if I left him he'd let on who I was and get all the survivors in trouble for 'hiding' me. I'm a fugitive, remember?"

"You should have told us," Claire told her, "we could have thought of something."

"I didn't want to admit that my marriage failed," Kate chuckled bitterly, "just like everything else I try."

"Your marriage failing had nothing to do with you, Kate," Claire stated, "you weren't asking for that jerk to do that to you."

"By staying though, I kind of did," Kate replied.

"Stop!" Claire exclaimed and shook her head, "just stop, alright? Stop trying to lay the blame on yourself, you did nothing, it's not your fault. In fact, you were being a good friend by trying to protect us all."

Kate frowned, "I'm sorry. I guess I'm still in Jack mode where everything is always my fault."

"Well, you can just get out of that mode right now because if I have anything to say about it, he will never lay eyes on you again," Claire told her in the most authoritative voice that she could.

"I want to believe that, I do, but it's hard too," Kate said with a frown, "I keep thinking that even if I do get away, I'll ran into him sometime and everything will just start all over again."

"We'll make sure that doesn't happen," Claire told her followed by a firm nod. "Now, I am going to go to bed because I am completely exhausted. You can sleep on the couch and no matter what, do not answer the phone. This will be the first place he calls when he notices you missing."

Kate nodded and returned the small hug Claire gave her before she left her alone in the living room. Kate sighed and laid down on the sofa. She closed her eyes and willed sleep to come to her…

---

A ringing sound rose Kate from her slumber and she groggily reached over to answer the phone that sat on the table in front of her. "Hello?" she murmured, still half asleep.

"Since you don't have an accent, I take it you'd be Kate," came the chipper female voice from the other end, "you shouldn't be answering the phone you know, it's dangerous."

"Huh?" was Kate's only reply, slowly coming out of her sleepy state.

"What if your husband called, then what would you do?" the female voice asked.

Kate tried hard to remember if she'd ever heard that voice before but she couldn't place it to anyone. "That's none of your business," she snapped.

"I take it he hasn't called since you've been answering the phone," the female continued, "husbands are so inconsiderate, and take it from me, hun, they don't get any better when they become ex-husbands."

Kate rolled her eyes and sighed. "Just who, exactly, are you?" she asked, tired of listening to the woman ramble on.

"Alicia," she replied simply, "I'm a friend of a certain redneck."

Claire walked out of the bedroom to find Kate using the phone. She rushed over to her and grabbed the receiver out of Kate's hands. "What did I tell you?" Claire asked and spoke "hello?" into the phone.

Kate just shook her head and got to her feet. She stretched her back and walked towards the bathroom. Inside, she shut the door and leaned on the sink counter, looking into the mirror. She looked tired, not just because she hadn't slept well, but tired of life, tired of the tribulations. Life wasn't supposed to be like this, she had gotten a second chance, a second life and she had messed that up, would she do any better with a third? She closed her eyes and sighed, the next little bit was going to be a true testament to the strength she used to have. She was worried that she didn't possess that strength anymore though. She was so used to being compliant, could she summon strength when she needed to most?

Kate opened her eyes and turned the tap on. She splashed cool water onto her face. She grabbed a towel and dried her face before replacing the towel and opening the bathroom door. She found a small, blonde haired boy on the other side. Kate smiled as he looked up at her with serious eyes, "hi, Aaron."

"Hi," he replied quietly.

Kate kneeled down in front of him, "I have to go away for a while, I'll miss you."

He blinked a few times before stepping towards her and wrapping his little arms around her.

Kate allowed herself to hug the little boy before she stood from Aaron and moved away from the bathroom door to allow him entry. She wandered through the living room and into the kitchen where Claire was brewing a pot of coffee and humming to herself.

"Who was that woman?" Kate asked as she pulled a chair out from the kitchen table and sat down.

"That would be Alicia," Claire told her as the coffee finished brewing and she poured a couple cups. She brought them over to the table and sat down across from Kate. "She's a friend of Sawyers."

"A 'friend'?" Kate repeated.

Claire nodded, "a friend and nothing more, don't worry. She just called to tell us they'll be here soon depending on traffic."

Kate nodded and lifted the cup. She took barely a sip before putting it down again. "What's going to happen when they get here?" she asked.

Claire shrugged, "I just assumed that you were going back to Alabama with them. It's not like you can stay around here."

"I guess I don't have much other choice," Kate agreed sadly.

"It's really for the best," Claire told her, "we'll miss you, but it's more important to get you away from Jack." Claire stood up when she heard the buzzer go off, "sounds like they're here." Claire walked into the living room and pushed the 'talk' button. "Hello?"

"Hello," came the chipper female reply.

Claire pressed the button to let them in then turned to find that Kate had moved from the kitchen to the living room. With a frown, Claire unlocked the front door and walked over to sit on the sofa beside her. "Everything will be fine, we'll find some way to deal with Jack," she told her quietly.

Kate nodded, "let the other survivors know, please. I don't want them unknowingly dragged into this, and I know Jack will."

"I will, they'll know what a slime Jack is by the time I'm done. None of them will ever speak to him again," Claire told her with a small smile.

"That's all I ask," Kate replied and turned her head when a knock came and the door opened from the outside.

Sawyer, looking the same as always, walked in followed by a small brunette woman. Kate couldn't help sizing the woman up as soon as she laid eyes on her.

Sawyer waited until Alicia was walking towards the living room before shutting the door and locking it. He slowly followed her in.

Alicia sat down on the sofa right beside Kate on the opposite side from where Claire was. She gave her a huge smile which only made Kate give her an odd look. "We spoke on the phone," Alicia told her and waited a moment. When Kate's expression didn't change she said, "don't give me that look."

Claire giggled, "don't mind Kate. I'm Claire, can I get you guys anything?"

"Bathroom?" Alicia asked, standing.

Claire pointed to the hallway, "first door on your left."

"Thank you," Alicia stated and walked off in the direction she was pointed towards.

Sawyer watched her leave before looking towards Kate again, who was staring at him, "don't mind her, she may be a little overbearin' but she's a sweetheart." He walked over and sat beside Kate on the sofa, "we've got a flight out in a few hours."

Claire got to her feet, "I'm going to go make Aaron some breakfast and let him eat in his room. Excuse me." She left towards the kitchen to allow them some time alone.

"And then what?" Kate asked him.

Sawyer shrugged, "you'll have to stay with me for a while. I ain't having you livin' alone and unprotected."

"You'll be the second person Jack looks for," Kate stated, "you sure you want to put yourself in that situation?"

"I'd love for the doc to hunt me down, Freckles, I got a few things I'm hurtin' to say to him," Sawyer told her.

Kate smiled and leaned towards him, placing a light kiss on his lips, "why are you so good to me?"

"Because I can't do nothin' but," he replied.


End file.
